4 thoughts on “KJ Thinking Out Loud #1

  • April 21, 2017 at 11:18 pm
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    Agreed Mate, I spent a hell of a long time trying to “fit in” to be somebody that was ahh “wanted” ?? now to be honest I dont give a fly’n hahaha to put it simply and it has become a lot esyer.

  • April 22, 2017 at 3:49 am
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    I’ve spent most of my life to myself. it wasnt untill my last year highschool that I allowed myself to fall down a dark path. You can say that it started when I smoked weed, but I believe it only amplified certian emotions that I now realize have been there since I was a child. Growing up I was exposed to much of the new world order programming by way of the television and looking back I can safely say that It did have an effect on me. I recall that as a kid I would experience intense emotions of anger, sadness. This never came to the surface by way of me acting out as a child, but I see now that it would come out when developed into a hate for myself or just hate. Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t grown up in a bad family. There were some tough times but nothing to warrant me complaining over the quality of my life growing up. So, going back to my last year of highschool, I found myself wasting time and money smoking weed. It was about this time that I stumbled upon so called conspiracy theories and down the rabbit hole I went. Quickly, I came to realize that it is all about bible (I grew up in a catholic, but i was never a big fan of organized religion). Lets not get stuck on the labels as much like yourself I believe it is about establishing a relationship with the most high. That being said I began to question the things I would do and often the very questions I asked were answered by those around me without them realizing. Let me explain it’s easy for me at times to get lost in thought and for example when I would be friends I would ask myself what is this? what are we partaking in? and much of the time someone would say the devil. I began to see synchronicities in my life all the while still confused with how I felt about myself. I was shown an image in so called “art” that image was of snakes in graffiti or tagging. I’ve heard it been called the devil’s language as many of the times there is something written in it when turning upside down. in this case the snakes could be viewed as viewed standing up, but that connection with what it has been called is still there. On a different occasion I was seeing a warped Image of a bong. This was as I was preparring to take a “hit” and I was able to see how reality around the bong seemed to be distorted almost as if it was creating some sort of door way. On a different occasion I I found myself in a room with so called friends and as I was observing one of my friends who was sat in a computer chair something popped in my head, “If i were sketch him out and turn that image upside down there will be a dead sheep.” and so I took a piece of paper and quickly sketched him sat in the chair. Take in mind I drew him rightside up and I hadn’t a clue how this dead sheep would look. Low and behold when I was done and I had turning it upside down it was image of a sheep with its tongue sticking out. that same image also seemed to become a snake with a crown on its head.
    So, I here I was being given conformation and I felt pathetic for not being able to cast all these earthly sickening desires away. I ended up doing something that I will regret the rest of my life. Fast forward to today and I’ve been trying to get away from my personal sins, but I find myself falling back to it. I see the kingdom of heaven and I’m aware of all this new age doctrine, masonic, and ultimately demonic teachings that are used to manipulate people. I see it constantly in the indoctrination camps we call colleges and I walk around and all I see are lost people…a godless people. Constantly being told that your life will be brought fulfillment if you do this or that, but I know the only thing that can make you whole is to seek our father. Nonetheless, I can’t help but feel that I’m a dead sheep. I’m 18 and find myself astray praying to pulled back by my shepard. I rambled here but this is where I’m at and I’m tired of it all, but I know “tomorrow will be a new day” so to speak. it would be cool if we could chat someday. Anyways. keep fighting the good fight kj. Godbless

  • May 1, 2017 at 2:09 am
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    I wish I could say I didn’t care at ALL what others think about me. I HATE that women are expected to put a full face of makeup on everyday before going out in public. Trey Smith says that the fallen angels taught people about things like adorning their hair and face, and extravagant costumes. I recall neither one of my grandma’s wearing any eye makeup, having pierced ears, or coloring their hair.

    I envy that simpler time! One can’t get a great job without conforming to some extent, but this plastic society never ceases putting new demands on how we’re supposed to look.
    Funny, I don’t care what my neighbors, good friends, or children think, but now that I’m a widow, it’s back to what my father thinks of me, because I’m around him more now.

    How freeing to only care about serving the Lord, and I can now, but am not sure what He wants me to do. I know He hasn’t opened my eyes without a reason.

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